(The NETWORK OPERATIONS FOOTY TIPPING EMAIL)

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ROUND 19 UPDATE

The “What’s your favourite Olympic memory?” Olympic edition

Proudly brought to you by Ricky “Sticky Syllable” Olarenshaw

I guess I’ll be staying away from Channel 7 the next few weeks.

Because viewers, if there’s one thing I hate, apart from ad breaks during Olympic Opening Ceremonies, it’s cross promotion of other programs.

How bad was the commentary during the Cats v Demons match on Ch 7 this round? All because Ricky, Dennis and Bucks tried to cross promote the bloody Olympics at every opportunity.

Here are some classic pieces of commentary I’m positive I heard during the game:

Bucks - “Well I don’t know how Gary Ablett squeezed through that opening, but if you stay tuned after this match, you can watch 95,000 people squeeze into the Birds Nest for the magnificent Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony. Excluuuuusive to Network 7”.

Dennis - “He kicked that ball and it flew through the air like an egg noodle. And our athletes will be kicking plenty of egg noodles while they’re in Beijing won’t they Ricky?”

And what capped the Channel 7 replay on Sat morning off was the superb after match interviews, brought to you by Ricky ‘Sticky Syllable’ Olarenshaw.

Wasn’t it a great idea for Ricky to ask every player and coach he interviewed what their favourite Olympic memory was!!!!!

My favourite Olympic memory is not having Ricky in any of my Olympic memories.

In a week where some Collingwood footballers were exposed for being idiots, Simon Wiggins was, well, just exposed!

And you can always rely on a Magpie to help the less fortunate. Even if he has to lie to do it!

Here, Scott gives little Stevey a hand changing a blown light globe at the G.

The Channel 7 Telstra Olympic Commentary Award of the week:

And this week’s award goes to Bruce McAvaney for this little gem on Stephanie Rice.............

“Ohhhhh Steph!!!! You’ve got the face of an Angel, and the heart of a tiger”.

The Fish Ball Soup and Wonton Noodles - Olympic photograph of the week

Stephanie Rice visualises pouncing like a tiger just for Bruce.

WEEKLY TIPPER LEADERBOARD POSITIONS

Weekly Tipper Leaderboard Position

WEEKLY WINNERS ARE GRINNERS:

2008 Weekly Winners

Round 19

1^st – sacre bleu

When they jumped at Murtoa, renowned country hoop sacre bleu was not on his horse, but rather down at the TAB placing a bet.

Putting aside the fact that it’s illegal to bet on your own steed, this week sacre bleu’s allegiance to his ride ‘Mighty Pies’, held true as it normally does, and she repaid him with a win.

Fair dinkum if the Saints had come out and played some hard footy for the first qtr, they might have unsettled the young boys in black and white stripes, but alas they failed in their duties as footballers and the rest is history. Ross Lyon, you need to get rid of half your team. We’ll take Ball and Sam Fisher. Del Santo can go jump.

Anyway, it’s a well known fact that at the tail end of the season, the cellar dwellers often get up for a win, in footy and in tipping!

As was the case this week.

I like it, because it gives you a little hope for next year.

Which generally means you sorry tippers come back for more!

Which means my tipping comp remains bigger and better than Clarence’s in Commercial.

Which is all that matters. He doesn’t even put out a decent update. Or so I’m told. Clarence if you’re reading this, it’s nothing personal!

2^nd – Doha Donkey

All the way from the sandpits of our lives comes the Doha Donkey with his second top 5 finish in 4 weeks.

There must be something to his tipping strategy, which will of course remain a secret! I certainly don’t want some dodgy oil embargo placed on us just because of my big mouth!

He’s a Roo boy through and through this lad, and when the Roos get up he’s sure of at least one correct tip. And if Tasmania ever get a team in the AFL (“fat chance” says TV ratingsholic Andy Demetriou!) then he’ll have another team he can tip each week.

Unless that is, .................................... it’s the North Tasmanian Kangaroos!!!!!

You heard it here first folks.

3^rd – Jovanka

Well what can I say? After organising a tops surprise 40^th for some poor bloke who had no idea what was going on, and then helping her friend Ginny shift house, and helping her older sister shift house, and helping the same poor surprised bloke find his socks each morning, this tipper continues to impress. And also continues to go on and on and on, and on, about the Brisbane Lions and how they’re not out of the finals race yet! And on.

C’mon give it a rest! If they do make the finals they’ll be embarrassed at the hands of the Mighty Pies in the Elimination final, or whatever the 5^th v 8^th match is called these days.

And it will be a fine day when the Magpies can gain some retribution for those ill fated and OFTEN mentioned two Grand Final Saturdays in 2002 and 2003.

If I ever get to eat my Grand Final retribution cake, I will bolt for the fiery furnaces of Hell as I sing the Magpie theme song at least a hundred times!

And then lay down in my bed in the doghouse, underneath the people house, for at least a week!

THE NETWORK OPS AFL LEADERBOARD

2008 Tipping ladder

Folks, it looks like we’s got ourselves a logjam .................................!!!!!!!

Currently sitting in 1^st place, a position he’s occupied since Neil Armstrong uttered the famous line “where’d I put me glasses Cheryl?” during the split round in June, Guido (111) has come back to the field after tipping a paltry 4 this week. You can forgive him for tipping the Bombers over the Eagles, as most of us did (including their No 1 NOFTE supporter Jo O’Donnell! Shame Jo, shame), but to tip Port to beat the Blues? C’mon Guido! Port couldn’t win a dodgy makeover on ‘Trinny and Susannah’ for crying out loud!

In 2^nd place this week, after bolting up the ladder quicker than Alan Didak could bolt from a mate’s ute, flyboymickey (110) started the Round in 6^th place, and now sits only 1 point behind Guido. And with a slightly better margin as well! Ooooohhhhhh. So very exciting. By the way, if I start to sound like Bruce McAvaney, somebody please slap me.

Go Cats (110) has hovered around the top 5 since the mid way point of the season, and I’d be prepared to suggest, that after a few years in Hong Kong the man is hungry for the prestigious Network Ops AFL Tipping comp 1^st prize. Hungry like a tigerrrrrrr. Or smaller house cat.

And it’s a well known fact that for years the Hong Kong Jockey Club has been at me to run the local AFL tipping comp over there in the Fragrant Harbour, but I stay loyal to my strong base of supporters here in Shtrayla, and won’t defect. Unless they pay me heaps. And then I can call my defection the ‘Sonny Bill Manoeuvre!

Carlie Dean, aqueous, SUPERBOOT and Bondy are all hot on the heels of the top 3. And like 2^nd and 3^rd placed flyboymickey and Go Cats, they’re on 110!

THE 2008 HALL OF SHAME

2008 Network Ops AFL Winners Table

(Weekly winner prizes will be paid at the end of the season with the main prizes)

THE NETWORK OPS NIPPERS LADDER

(Where it’s cool to like ‘Wii’ – for all you oldies, it’s pronounced “wee”).

1. Hot Dog (107)
2. Footy Freak97 (107)
3. Iceman (106)
4. Lil Plugger (106)
5. Gyanu (104)
6. Bones (97)

Come back next week tippers!

The Olympics will still be on, and I’ll have enough ammo to load an army’s worth of rifles, point them all at Bruce McAvaney, and pull the trigger.

I can’t wait.

As Bruce would say...............”Oh Steph”.

I just want Steph to fall asleep on her balcony over in Beijing, get sunburnt, and then I can call her ‘Fried Rice’!

I had to put this joke at the end as obviously it’s bordering on being politically incorrect. And nobody reads this far down anyway!

Housekeeping

I’ve chased up all the entry money – so here are the final prize ‘divvys’

Now that the money’s been counted, and the bookies have been pacified, I can ‘officially’ declare the prizes for this seasons comp.

It’s big money this year, so pull your collective fingers out and start studying the form guide. If you’re tipping poorly, then start studying a different type of form guide! Bluey already has.

Total prize pool = Number of paid up tippers 73 x $20 = $1460

Weekly prizes = 22 rounds x $20 = $440

Remainder of prize pool for end of season winners = $1020

1^st place = $500

2^nd place = $250

3^rd place = $150

4^th place = $70

5^th place = $50