(The NETWORK OPERATIONS FOOTY TIPPING EMAIL)

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ROUND 3 UPDATE

Information Service for our Foreign Based Tippers

This year I’m providing a specialised service to our foreign based tippers:

1. Doha Donkey (Qatar)
2. Hong Kong Corn (not sure where the Cornhole is, maybe Hong Kong?)
3. Steve Buscumb (Thailand somewhere).

If any other tippers are based overseas, please let me know. And no, South Sydney Legend Ben Baker, the Southside does not count as “overseas”.

This week I’m providing a financial services update, and am including the following information for the benefit of our expat tippers.

• Interest rates have not risen this week. Well not the official rate anyway. Just tread carefully around any Commonwealth Bank and Suncorp customers!

• Petrol was 137 cents per litre at the BP on Milton Rd near the XXXX brewery last Tuesday night.

• Coffee at Aromas is now $2.60 (up from $2.30) with an Airport ID. Although the twins Hannah and Rebecca are back after an extended holiday, so the extra 30c is obviously acceptable!

Trivia question of the week

Q. Which former AFL player (according to Crumpy) is the only player to have kicked a league goal against 17 different AFL teams?

Clues:

It’s not our very own former Swan, Swan.

He has kicked a goal against both Fitzroy and the Brisbane Lions.

One of his teams was Essendon (and it’s not our very own former Bomber, Swan).

He also played at Geelong (and it’s not Buddha ‘Whiskas’ Hocking either).

Answer:

Whoever answers correctly wins a free ticket for the Melbourne v Fremantle clash at the MCG on Sunday May 4^th.

And as part of this prize, you can bring along 85,000 of your friends, on the house, if you want!

^{Note: I don’t actually have a free ticket to give away but I reckon you could get one for a couple of bucks on eBay if you wanted!}

And if you haven’t figured it out, the correct answer is....................

John Barnes!

Jokes of the week

Q. What do you say to a Port Power supporter with a job?
A. Big Mac, large fries and large coke thanks.

Q. What do you call a Port Power supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the Port Power supporter cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason whatsoever.

Umpire of the week

In an effort to spread the love a little bit, and mainly because they often get left out in the cold like a fat old Labrador with dodgy hips, I’ve decided that each week or at least once in a while, we’ll do a bit of PR for one of the green mouldy scuzz bucket umpires.

Last week we told Michael Vozzo to consider a change in careers. I suggested he become a nocturnal farmer, as he’s obviously quite good at finding his way round the paddock with his eyes closed.

This week the focus (if my contacts are in) is firmly on the new ‘most hated’ umpire in the AFL, Ray Chamberlain.

Ray Chamberlain – Umpire no. 18

Discipline: Field

AFLUA Heritage No: 401

Shirt Number: 18

Date of Birth: 5 Sep 76

AFL Matches end of Last Year: 64

1st AFL Match: 2004

Likes: My own voice, visiting my optometrist, running around and looking like an idiot, talking in the 3^rd person, umpiring by the book.

Dislikes: Mullets, tall people (anyone over 5’3”), not being in the limelight, going to the dentist, Collingwood.

Photo and bio courtesy of aflua.com.au

But credit where credit is due, as it appears Umpire Ray can recognise a good sledge!

"I have had a few people suggest the dingo took the wrong Chamberlain."

“Oh, we’re a happy team at Haaawthorn”

Round 3, 2008.

Ahhhhhhhhh.

Brings back memories from last year! It’s good to see the Dancing Queen Hawkies continued going to dance classes over the summer!

Round 4, 2007

Culprit No. 1 – Rough head Jared

Round 4, 2007

Culprit No. 2 – Jack Johnson look alike – Buddy Franklin

At least one Tigers team played well on Sunday!

The post match Pittwater Tiger celebrations and club song rendition on Sunday morning were marred by a small pitch invader dressed in a bright blue shirt and baggy pants!

(Where’s Andrew Symonds when you need him?)

Did the little guy not read the sign?

WEEKLY WINNERS ARE GRINNERS:

2008 Weekly Winners

Round 3

1^st – Gilly gone but not forgotten

Well how can you disagree with Gilly’s nickname? I mean, the man with a head like a VW Beetle (with doors open of course), and possibly the best wicketkeeper to play for this country in the last 10 years, has only been retired 1 month. And could he swing the bat!!!

Anyway, one Gilly retired and another, our very own Gilly, went south. It’s good to see that our Gilly has embraced the culture of Australia’s most Southern state (Tasmania doesn’t count, it’s another bloody country, or at least should be, if you ask me), and now supports The Bloods. The Swans are now a distant memory!

Keep up the good work Gilly. And thanks for being my ‘debt collector’ in Melbourne!

2^nd – Dave Whitehead

Manchester City may find it hard to crack it for a win, and for quite a while I wondered if VB’s No 1. Man City fan would ever crack it for a win in the tipping.

I’m still wondering, but hey, 2^nd is a lot further in front of me than last was behind. So how can I sledge this Pommie?

Oh yeah, I think I’m just about to!

Look, we all know that the English came here to this fine land hoping to get away from bad weather, coal soot, loser football teams and unemployment. And those that didn’t relocate to Collingwood must feel like they’ve done ok!

3^rd – Jimmy C

As I mentioned last week, JimmyC left us for the greener pastures over at CASA.

Let’s hope, with no disrespect intended, that we don’t see him back at VB very often!

THE NETWORK OPS AFL LEADERBOARD

2008 Tipping ladder

1^st – JimmyC

Ok well I’m just about over the publicity that JimmyC has received the last 2 weeks, so let’s just say that he’s leading the comp after 3 rounds!

I’ll say one other thing. It’s a 22 round competition son, so don’t shoot your bolt too early!

2^nd – Tony Hand

Well it’s a bloody Flight Ops quinella this week.

Tony Hand had a ‘handy’ win last week in Round 2, and he’s sitting (which Flight Ops management pilots do quite well!!!) solidly in 2^nd place after Round 3.

3^rd – Gilly gone but not forgotten

For crying out loud. It’s a Flight Ops trifecta!

If Gilly had stayed in Network Ops I would have felt a little better.

C’mon Network Ops tippers, lift your game. I want someone from the OCC upstairs up the front of this comp.

I’ll even accept a winner from Aircrew Planning if that’s what it takes!

Deeks?

Taz?

Anyone????

THE 2008 HALL OF SHAME

2008 Network Ops AFL Winners Table

THE NETWORK OPS NIPPERS LADDER

(Where it’s cool to like ‘Wii’ – for all you oldies, it’s pronounced “wee”).

1. FootyFreak 97

2. Bones

3. Iceman

4. Hot Dog

5. The Electric Drummer

Housekeeping

** will announce the prize money next week **

Total prize pool = Number of paid up tippers (TBA) x $20 = $TBA

Weekly prizes = 22 rounds x $20 = $440

Remainder of prize pool for end of season winners = $TBA

1^st place = $TBA

2^nd place = $TBA

3^rd place = $TBA

4^th place = $TBA

5^th place = $TBA

How the legend of ‘Tony the Lunch God’ began:

This man is an eating machine!

He buys it, he builds it, and then he eats it!

Don’t know if OH&S would be overly happy though. He does use a rather sharp knife!

I’m charging $2.50 admission to the V Australia office at lunch time for anyone that wants to see Tony top this effort.

BYO camera!

By the way – If you receive your manual with a slice of roast beef stuck somewhere between the Preface and the Appendix, please return it to Tony.

Happy tipping in Round 4!

Don’t tip the Blues, Demons, Eagles, Saints or Roos. They’re all officially useless.

Coolio.