(The NETWORK OPERATIONS FOOTY TIPPING EMAIL)

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ROUND 7 UPDATE

Why is tipping so frustrating?

I’ve run this tipping comp for thirty four years now, and every season without fail the “Round from Hell” pops up when you least expect it.

And it’s not that I think I’m a poor tipper, I just think sometimes I’m a bit of an idiot!

Here’s the autopsy of my rather poor tipping weekend.

Friday

It all started on Friday night.

West Coast used to be a champion team, they won the flag in 2006 for crying out loud. The same year Carlton won about 3 games. I’m the sort of tipper that can never tip teams like St Kilda and the Bulldogs because when I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, they were absolutely thrashable. So why do I tip the Maggies? Good question!

Anyway, this year things appear to be different for the Eagles and the Blues.

West Coast lost two champion players.

Carlton picked up one, some other boys in blue picked up the other!

Fev started the season with a weak bladder, but now may have sealed any gaps with the appropriate Selleys product and he’s also got his radar finely tuned.

If he got a haircut he may even look half respectable.

And it’s about time the numerous single digit draft picks Carlton have had over the last few years start to pay dividends. Carlton supporters must have felt like Virgin Blue shareholders for a while!

With names like Murphy, Gibbs, Kruezer, and Judd, Carlton should be beating teams like the Eagles.

Anyway, I tipped the Eagles on Friday night because I just can’t bring myself to tip against them, let alone tip the Blues to beat them.

I may have to check back into rehab if I can’t start tipping with my head!

Saturday

I tipped against the Pies. I’ve no shame in admitting that even though they’ve been my team of choice since that ill fated day in 1973 when my great grandfather Pa, sat me down and told me in between a few coughs, a couple of snorts, and one or three farts, that not only should I blow my nose, but I also needed to start following his team and not the one my old man wanted me to (the Bombers).

By the end of the eighties I was thinking that I had made a bad decision. Actually, I was thinking that thought all through the 70’s, and especially after the ‘77, ‘79, ‘80 and ‘81 Grand finals.

1990 saw my decision vindicated.

One Grand final victory in my lifetime will be probably all I get unless I switch to the Cats. But that ain’t going to happen!

Richo’s career best form and refreshed cult hero status has got me tipping the Tigers, it’s just a shame they can’t bloody well win a game! So the Saints held on when, really, the Tigers deserved the 4 points. The Tigers need to learn how to win. I’ve put Terry Wallace in touch with my mate Warnie, as his IPL team, the Rajasthan Chocolate Royals, have been winning everything over in 20-20 land.

I went to bed Saturday night thinking that things could be worse. I mean, I could get the timekeeper that lost a whole 6 seconds from the Tigers v Saints game timing me while I finally get my free 60 seconds in Darrell Lea!

Sunday

Let’s not talk about Sunday. Let’s not talk about the feathers flying everywhere as the Swans were ravaged by a pack of mongrel Bulldogs, and let’s definitely not talk about Melbourne finally cracking it for a win over the absolutely (sorry Fremantle2020) useless Dockers.

Oh look all this talk is boring, let’s check out some action from the round I’d rather forget. Round 7!

Coolio’s 2008 AFL Bachelor of the Year

A special section for the girls this week, with the first 3 nominations presented to you for your consideration.

And just remember ladies, it’s not all about the looks. You should vote on things like:

a) Fitness

b) Guns

c) Haircut

d) Looks

Bachelor No 1 – Dean Brogan

Bachelors No 2 – Fraser Gehrig and Nick Riewoldt (these two can come as a ‘bachelor couple’ if you can handle the haircuts)

Voting form:

Please make your selection and send it back to me:

“I want to vote for ______ ______ as the inaugural ‘Coolio’s Bachelor of the Year’”

Select from:

a) Dean Brogan

b) Fraser Gehrig

c) Nick Riewoldt

d) Fraser Gehrig AND Nick Riewoldt

e) Pass, thanks

WEEKLY WINNERS ARE GRINNERS:

2008 Weekly Winners

Round 7

1^st – Janus

If I didn’t believe it I wouldn’t have seen it!

A perfect 8 from our friend in Compliance, Hawks supporter Janus.

I would have loved to have been a mozzie on the wall at the Janus and Choker residence when this week’s ladder came out. The Choker had a poor weekend in both the Super 14’s and the AFL, and for Janus to have tipped a perfect round, well, it would have just been the icing on the cake! Especially when Janus doesn’t do her own tips, so there’s actually a sister out there somewhere that can tip!

The Choker wasn’t in the office today so I couldn’t personally sledge him. Hmmmmm. Must remember to get him tomorrow!

After he buys me a coffee.

2^nd – Hot Dog

I have it from good sources (mainly Fev), that poor old Bomber Girl has copped a bit of a sledging from Hot Dog recently via Footy Tips messaging.

Apparently poor old Bomber Girl is now into the scores first thing on Monday morning, to find out how Hot Dog went on the weekend, and where he is on the ladder.

Sounds a little like infatuation to me. It’s a bit of a worry though when an 8 year old is sledging an adult!

C’mon Bomber Girl, don’t be a wussy like your full forward Matthew ‘the Cat’ Lloyd. Get in there, get your head over the ball and sledge little Hot Dog back!

3^rd – flyboymickey

Bloody pilots keep tipping well....... grumble grumble grumble.

Three pilots in the Top 10 are two more than I can handle!

C’mon desk dwellers. Get in there and start tipping like you know what you’re doing.

And aren’t all these Hawks supporters coming out from every crack in the woodwork and from under every rock I turn over this season.

Bondy, Choco, flyboymicky, Guido, Tom Pirola, Janus have all of a sudden found their no. 23 jumpers (Don Scott, Dermie, Buddy, take your pick!) and are wearing them with pride!

Where were all you Hawks supporters last year that’s what I want to know!

Round 6

1^st – Ads (Fremantle2020)

Last week, there was one person wearing a Fremantle jumper (probably the only one left after their insipid effort on Sunday) that came out a winner on the weekend.

This ‘connected’ tipper (‘connected’ not to Optus, but to the Mafia in Perth apparently) I’m reliably informed, had a cameo role in The Godfather delivering napkins to the Don, and does not only tip well but also is an exceptional pasta chef. Or so my tomato sauce tells me!

And never, ever, upset this ‘connected’ tipper. He’s quick on the comeback with such gems as “say that again and I’ll bust a cap in your arse”.

The only ammo I have on him, that I can use without fear of retribution, is that he works for the Body Shop. This so called ‘hard man’, sells fragrant soaps!

It’s not hard to believe that he supports Freo then!

2^nd – JimmyC

JimmyC has had his day in the sun already this season. And is still tipping well! How is it over at CASA anyway Jimmy? Loads of fun I bet!

Bet you don’t have a ‘Flame Shirt Sunday’ like we used to have in Network Ops!

3^rd – Hot Dog

Go to bed young fella, it’s late and you’re less than 4 foot tall. You should have been in bed after The Simpsons.

THE NETWORK OPS AFL LEADERBOARD

2008 Tipping ladder

Bondy (47) and JimmyC (46) both put in a solid week and tipped 7’s.

Choco (45) has fallen 1 behind, and heads up a ravenous pack of 5 tippers on 45!

Bondy and Choco both follow the Hawks, so expect them to keep tipping the feathered party lovers from Glenferrie Rd for some time yet.

It’s JimmyC I’m worried about. He’s a Demon, and he didn’t tip them this week, so I’m wondering if his heart will get the better of his head and he tips them next week. They play the Crows in Adelaide. Surely he wouldn’t be that silly?

Me? Well if anyone’s interested, and I guess you’re not (but it’s my comp so I’ll talk about myself all I want) but I slipped from mid teens to mid bloody thirties in one round, after tipping 4.

There’s only one tipper whose fall from grace has hurt far more than mine.

May I refer everyone to position 71 on the ladder this week?

There you’ll find the remnants of what was last year’s winner, OWSTA.

In 2008, this shell of a former champion, this winner in 2007, this Bomber fan, languishes down with the Doha Donkeys, Hong Kong Corns and Vickers’s of the world.

Now far be it for me to sledge for I am only human (and a damn fine example of one if I say so myself!). So before I give him a rip let me put up 3 feeble excuses for the champion formerly known as OWSTA.

OWSTA, and let’s call him O for short, as that is his name anyway, has had a big year.

1. Baby no. 1 for Lisa and O arrived late February to much hoo haa and fanfare (and with good reason, as little Matilda is pretty cute for a baby). Unfortunately for Matilda she’ll grow up a Baby Bomber, but other than that, she’s got it all to look forward to!
2. The House of Wade in sunny Melbourne has undergone the most remarkable renovations (check out Off to the Shed for a running commentary!) so O is excused for spending more time measuring bench tops than studying the form guide!
3. Let me just say one word, “Super Coach”. If O ever wants to tip well in this comp again, he’ll have to ditch his Herald Sun (a free plug for my mate Rupert) Super Coach hobby. There’s only so much time you can spend trading Chris Tarrant for Damian Peverill, at a net cost of $58. I was at the House of Wade the week that Collingwood beat the Bombers handsomely, and O spent more time worrying about his Super Coach than he did watching the Bombers fall to the once mighty Pies. Can’t say I blame him actually, as the Bombers were pretty terrible. Anyway, give up the Super Coach O and concentrate on the comp that counts, that’s what I say.

THE 2008 HALL OF SHAME

2008 Network Ops AFL Winners Table

THE NETWORK OPS NIPPERS LADDER

(Where it’s cool to like ‘Wii’ – for all you oldies, it’s pronounced “wee”).

Let’s get this over with. I’m being beaten by my bloody nephews so we’ll make it quick. I’ll let it be known however that I’m a cool uncle, and took them last week to see my mate Dave Grohl here in Brisbane. I think I told this story last week didn’t I?

In that case, let’s check out the Nippers ladder.

1. Hot Dog (42)

2. Footy Freak97 (42)

3. Lil Plugger (41)

4. Iceman (38)

5. Bones (38)

Action shots from the Kedron vs. Mayne seniors on the weekend.

Mayne Tigers 9.7.61 defeated Kedron Lions 3.4.22

Housekeeping

I’ve chased up all the entry money – so here are the final prize ‘divvys’

Now that the money’s been counted, and the bookies have been pacified, I can ‘officially’ declare the prizes for this seasons comp.

It’s big money this year, so pull your collective fingers out and start studying the form guide. If you’re tipping poorly, then start studying a different type of form guide! Bluey already has.

Total prize pool = Number of paid up tippers 73 x $20 = $1460

Weekly prizes = 22 rounds x $20 = $440

Remainder of prize pool for end of season winners = $1020

1^st place = $500

2^nd place = $250

3^rd place = $150

4^th place = $70

5^th place = $50