(The NETWORK OPERATIONS FOOTY TIPPING EMAIL)

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ROUND 9 UPDATE

G’day viewers,

This week, I’ve got just two words to say.

1. Hot

and, ......

2. Pies

COLLINGWOOD 6.4 11.6 16.7 20.14 (134)
GEELONG 2.2 3.3 6.5 7.6 (48)

GOALS Collingwood: Cloke 4, Medhurst 3, Didak 2, Davis 2, Shaw, B. Johnson, Rocca, Fraser, Clarke, Lockyer, Pendlebury, Bryan, Thomas. Geelong: Ablett 2, Varcoe, Wojcinski, Gamble, Mooney, Hawkins.

BEST Collingwood: Clarke (top kid, to be sure to be sure), Thomas (Crumpy - eat my shorts) , Cloke (get a haircut), Lockyer (get a new christian name), Swan (pull your socks up), Pendlebury (keep up the good work), Rocca (please retire Pebbles). Geelong: Ablett (you’re not as good as your dad), Corey (loves ug boots).

UMPIRES McBurney (idiot), Kennedy (not such a bad bloke), Jeffery (idiot).

CROWD 78,206 (including the 3 members of ‘Team Sacre Bleu’) at the MCG.

As Sacre Bleu would say, “How good was that Coolio?”

There’s nothing better than beating, or even humiliating, the reigning premiers. It’s misery all over the Ford factory floor in Melbourne’s outer-est Western suburb, Geelong, this week.

Gearbox production will be down this week people.

But, boy oh boy, wasn’t Round 9 a hard round to tip properly?

The tipping results this week speak for themselves, and those who tipped reasonably well had to go out on a bit of limb (myself included)! If only I’d tipped the Pies.

Can’t believe I chickened out on that one. Coolio is cautious/gutless when it comes to the Pies, let’s just get that out in the open!

Sledge of the week so far goes to Fevolution:

1. Fev Says:
   May 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am

If the pies can make geelong look silly, imagine what the blues can inflict on them this week. The way i see it, carl beat collingwood in Rnd 4, collingwood beat geelong last week, that makes us certainties right?

Good luck to all those tippers at the top of the table, its great to lead half way through, just ask Greg Norman, Jane Saville and Phil Warth. Enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully when brisbane hits the slide, port stop choking and pav & johnno start to kick straight, fev’s tipping will once again rise to the top.

Poor old Fev. He’s a bit sour on Freo (who isn’t!), the Bulldogs, Brisbane, and his Blues. Actually he’s a bit sour on quite a few clubs.

He’s also got a long and accurate memory!

I do also think it’s a reasonably fair decision to put the Choker, in the same choker league as The Shark and The Walker/Runner Jane.

Coolio’s Hot Pie Tribute.

The Cats trudged off, looking like they wanted no more........

All game they’d tried, but couldn’t get clear of Heath Shaw.

They even tried dirty tricks, like covering our eyes and all.

But it didn’t worry Pebbles, for he kept his eyes on the ball.

Oh come now boys there’s no need to look so depressed.......

As Tarkyn will tell ya, humiliating the reigning Premiers is the best!

WEEKLY TIPPER LEADERBOARD POSITIONS

Weekly Tipper Leaderboard Position

Now this is new so I’d better explain it.

For those of you who are interested in how you’re tracking from one week to the next, this table shows your overall ladder position after each round.

If you move up on the tipping ladder, you’ll see a green ladder position (this is good). If you’ve moved down the ladder it’ll turn red (this is not so good).

WEEKLY WINNERS ARE GRINNERS:

2008 Weekly Winners

Round 9

1^st – Hong Kong Corn

It’s great to see our chief sweet and sour noodle purveyor, HKC, get up for a win.

You can shop till you drop in Nathan Rd TST, but everybody knows the best shopping is over the border. With his $20 winnings this week, HKC can catch the train to Shenzhen and buy every lady tipper in the comp, including Fev and the Choker, a ridgy didge Louis Vuitton handbag just like this one!

We miss you Hong Kong Corn, and even though your tipping is somewhat lousy, well let’s just call it useless, you’re moving up the ladder with a bullet. This week you went from 73^rd to 67^th!

So HKC, I’d like to leave you with some of your own immortal words,

“You lack discipline!” (this works best using an Arnold Terminator accent)!

In fact, I miss HKC so much so that I’ve dedicated this week’s sound bite on Coolio’s Footy Tips homepage to him. Hopefully he’s got Internet Explorer over there in the Fragrant Harbour!

2^nd – Roadie

Hot Pies for the Magpie from Ipswich. Or from somewhere out that way anyway!

Roadie plays really tall for such a little bloke.

3^rd – Veitchie

Hot Pies again! I love it when Pie blokes get up the leaderboard. I don’t know Veitchie that well but ‘Gilly gone but not forgotten’ signed him up and reckons he’s a good bloke. So i’ll take her word for it. Plus he’s a Magpie fan so I really didn’t need Gilly’s vote of confidence anyway!

Veitchie is struggling down the ranks on 48, just below Sacre Blue. C’mon you blokes, you’ll be made change teams if you don’t improve your tipping. Roadie and I can’t have fellow Pie lovers bringing tipping shame to us in this manner!

THE NETWORK OPS AFL LEADERBOARD

2008 Tipping ladder

If I don’t mention the change in leadership of the tipping ladder this week it’ll be a ‘fend for yourself’ type week at home for old Coolio.

So, without any further ado, there’s been a change in leadership of the tipping ladder!

The seven ‘usual suspects’, let’s call them the ‘Kevin Spacey mob’, have been left behind on 57 by the ravenous/ravishing Lions lover, Jovanka (The Boss).

‘The Boss’ does her own tips even though I’m by far the smarter one in this match up, and she doesn’t even talk to me from 1900 on a Friday, till about 0800 Monday morning, when normally I get a “hey are the tips up yet?” comment yelled at me while I’m trying hard to spread the vegemite evenly yet thickly, on my toast.

In fact, ‘The Boss’ takes tipping so seriously she was spitting chips on Sunday, especially after I’d been walking around all Saturday morning saying “Trust me, I reckon you should tip the Eagles, they’re gunna roll the Crows!”

‘The Boss’ will need to improve her margin though if she’s to be a serious challenge at the pointy end of the season. Either that or win outright!

Remember 3 seasons ago when Darkie just hung on to victory from ‘The Boss’ and Carmie? After that close defeat, the fire is burning within this tipper, so someone better come from the pack and bring this Lions upstart back down to earth!

Dishonourable mentions:

70^th - Doha Donkey - Each weeks results must make Doha Donkey feel like he’s having all the sand in the sandpit blown in his face!

71^st - OWSTA – Last years winner could not tip Melbourne to lose to the Hawks at the moment! Give up Supercoach and concentrate on your tipping!

72^nd - Threeandhalf – He got carried away when Kevin 07 got up last November and is still to arrive back in reality town!

73^rd - Power – Things could be worse I suppose for this last placed tipper. She could actually barrack for Port Power. Oh that’s right. Doh!

THE 2008 HALL OF SHAME

2008 Network Ops AFL Winners Table

THE NETWORK OPS NIPPERS LADDER

(Where it’s cool to like ‘Wii’ – for all you oldies, it’s pronounced “wee”).

1. Footy Freak97 (53)
2. Hot Dog (52)
3. Lil Plugger (52)
4. Iceman (49)
5. Bones (49)

I’ve had a few questions about how the adjusted margin and cumulative margin works – here’s some stuff from the footytips website.

What you need to know about Tipping

· Tips for each game can be entered or edited at any time prior to the nominated game commencement time as published on the site.

· Under no circumstances will tips be accepted after a game has commenced.

· If tippers do not enter tips for a game, round or join after the season has commenced they will be allocated the default score (see below).

What you need to know about Tipper Rankings

· Tippers will be firstly ranked by their weekly score, where the highest score is the highest rank.

· Weekly winners will be determined by the user's weekly score for the round, then by a tippers 'Round Margin' and then by their 'Total Margin'.

· End of season winners will be determined by total score, and then by their 'Total Margin' (and if drawn the Round Margin for that round).

What you need to know about Margins

· The Margin Tippers are required to enter a winning team plus a margin for one game each round (the number of points team A will beat team B by).

Round (Adjusted Margin)

· If you tip the winning Team and their exact winning margin, your 'Round Margin' will equal 0 points/goals (like golf, lower is better).

· If you pick the winning team, but not the winning margin, your 'Round Margin' will equal the difference between the actual game margin and the margin you tipped.

· If you tip the losing Team, your 'Round Margin' will equal the points/goals difference of the actual game margin PLUS the margin you tipped.

Total (Accumulative Margin)

· The 'Total Margin' is the total to date of the Weekly Margins for all rounds in the tipping competition. As with 'Your Margin' the lower your 'Accumulative Margin' is the better ranking you will have.

Housekeeping

I’ve chased up all the entry money – so here are the final prize ‘divvys’

Now that the money’s been counted, and the bookies have been pacified, I can ‘officially’ declare the prizes for this seasons comp.

It’s big money this year, so pull your collective fingers out and start studying the form guide. If you’re tipping poorly, then start studying a different type of form guide! Bluey already has.

Total prize pool = Number of paid up tippers 73 x $20 = $1460

Weekly prizes = 22 rounds x $20 = $440

Remainder of prize pool for end of season winners = $1020

1^st place = $500

2^nd place = $250

3^rd place = $150

4^th place = $70

5^th place = $50